So many times I have sat at this very desk, thinking about that night and how I could have changed things. If only I had given it a second of thought, such a trivial thing it seems now, to have swallowed my pride and listened to what he had been trying to say to me.
But hind sight is always 20/20 and it does me no good now. Nothing in this world can change that night and the things we both said and did. What's done is done.
I had to say it. 3 small words that would change everything forever. "I'm leaving you." And I did. I couldn't deal with him never being there and seeing him only hurt cause I knew that all too soon he would have to pack up and leave. Patience is something I could have used, but have yet to accquire, and now it's too late.
I can't help but wonder, if I had stuck it out would it be my name on the wedding invitation that arrived today? And is it only my jealous imagination that sees a fake smile on his face in the picture of the two of them as she holds his arm, wind ruffling his beautiful blonde hair. Is it sadness that dims the lights in his beautiful eyes? I guess I'll never know.
As hard as it was to see that invitation, it was even harder to walk away. But it was a decision I had to make. And I made the one that I thought at the time was right. Now I'm not so sure that I made the right one ...
