You proposed to me. Of course I said yes. We had been dating for, what, four months? Hardly long enough to warrant a proposal. But you were the effortless romantic, of course you proposed. You proposed in the perfect way, too. We were sitting on the couch watching "When Harry Met Sally" with Taylor, Zac, and about three of our friends. I had tears in my eyes, like I always do during that movie. You looked over at me, your eyes sparkling with mischief, tears, and, I suppose, nerves. You got up to get some more beer - I remember going to the liquor store and picking up about ten different kinds. You came back, arms full of bottles. There was something in your pocket that I remember seeing. I thought it was your cell phone.

You dropped down on one knee in front of me. I leaned forward, thinking you were going to hand me a drink. Instead, you took my left hand in both of yours. All eyes were on us.

"I love you so much. You know that, right?" I nodded in response, cocking my head and smiling. I began to speak, but you put a finger over my lips. "Don't say anything. I know we haven't been together for long. But this...These past months have been like heaven. I can't imagine spending the rest of my life with anyone but you." At this point, I began to realize what you were saying, and my eyes widened, in both fear and surprise. "I'll understand if you say no, but...Will you marry me?" You pulled a box out of your pocket and opened it, revealing a simple and beautiful engagement ring.

I didn't say anything at first, just stared in shock and horror. No one could possibly love me that much. I never imagined I would ever get the opportunity to be in a long-term relationship, much less get married. Yet I still said yes. Everyone applauded and cheered for us. You picked me up in your arms and we twirled around in an embrace.

I should have known from the very beginning. I should have said no. But I chose instead to break your heart. I left you, and not even for another man. I left you for drugs, and the various other decadent things I became involved in. You have to believe me when I say that I do still love you. I love you so much. Nothing will ever change that. You have to know that I'll never forget you. I just can't say the words.